Groan, Growing up

"once you grown up, you can never come back" --  Petterpan

Growing up? It's a scary thing. Isn't it?

When I was a kid, people did not live as long a they do today. But thing lived longer. Everyone's who live enough does grow up, or atleast grows older. But the words "Growing up" probably means something different to each person. Our whole lives are about growing, growing wiser and more mature. Growing up is hard work, they say it's a trap. Because the path of maturity has no end. You have lots of growing up to do in your 20's, a lot of examination and exploration. There is no guide to tell you what to do when your childhood friends become ghosts, or what to do when the world becomes too much. There are so many things I wish I had known while growing up. No one ever tells me the hard truth of life. They never prepared me for my first kiss, for my first break up, for the late night talks with my bestfriend and for the day I realized she wasn't a true friend. Maybe it's because they can't stomach it, or maybe it's because they think it's just something you have to experience firsthand to understand

"If you're not losing friends then you're not growing up" They say. Not sure if it happens naturally. drifting apart from people you once knew, or people just change. There are many reasons why we lose friends/Bf or Gf in our 20's. Although we don't really ever know when we will lose someone we care for, the ones who once meant a great deal to us, we do know what can possibly be the reasons behind their loss.

  

CURRENTLY

Listening:

7 Years By Lukas Graham

So far, ito ang pinaka may sense na kantang narinig ko. Thanks for this!

--  feels in my bones --

Reading:

Twitter post, wala nakiki-balita lang sa mga ganap. Nag-oobserved ganern!

I've been through countless heart breaks. Guys who used me and just threw me like I was nothing to them in the first place. I've been through break ups with friend I've known since elementary days just because of stupid misunderstanding. But recently, I technically got dumped by someone a few months ago. Life and its curve ball, What a bitch! Anyway, I've been quite the crazy person. I cried. I laughed. I screamed into my pillow, I laid in bed in fetal position, I used to get drunk with some of my friends, I read some articles, books and I did online researched about "Why Men Like Bitches?" I broked up with someone a few months ago, because of cheating. I found out right after our 2nd monthsary. But 1week after, He found another girl or should I say Bitch?(disturbing right?) they'd secretly exchanged sweet messages and secretly go on a date without my knowing (Syempre, bakit naman nila sasabihin yun diba?) until I finally found out that he's cheating on me and my first reaction was to tell him to burn in hell and never speak to me again. After a couple of days and I had cooled off, we talked and he convinced me to work things out.. Then I realize Im still inlove with him, I remind myself of what I was holding on in the fist place. I forgive him. Unfortunately, it didn't work. after a few weeks. He did it again. Again and again. But this time, I'll never let him hurt me again. I feel so upset, lonely and miserable after what happened. How could I been so naive and immature to think that he's the one for me? we been together just in two months. Isn't it ridiculously funny? but then, I need to accept that he's not the right one, and not a right time for me. Actually those people who gave us a lot of heartaches aren't inherently bad people, but they aren't the right people for us. And as hard as it is, we have to let them go. We have to make our well-being a priority. Whether that means breaking up with someone you care about, loving a family member from a distance, letting go of  a  friend, or removing yourself from a situation that feels painful, You have every right to leave. I realized I had to fixed and pulled myself back together. And I decided to deal with it like a grown ass woman. I brushed my hair, took a shower, put some make up -- wear a red lipstick to make my lips more livelier. I went to a salon, straightened my hair and I let the beautician cut my hair into short hair. co'z she told me it'll suits my current feeling. HAHAH! t'was my firstime and I never imagined that I'll cut my hair for just shitty reason. (oh wow, what an annoying ass!) but after that I feel totally relieved. It feels really good and worthy for my money. I feel like I'm on the music vid. of "Look What You Made Me Do" by TaylorSwift -- HAHAH!! I also went on a diet (though I'm not that really fat hehe) I realized you can do a bunch of things and feel better in just 3 weeks. I think growing our hair is even included. But sometimes cutting our hair helps us grow more wise, more mature. I discover that growing our hair could have been what was holding us back, what was keeping us from moving on from the bad in our lives.

I don't know what it is about life that makes it such a little bastard, who finds pleasure in coming up with the means to complicate our tangled stories with more drama than necessary.

Believing what's always felt good comes easily. But growing up requires accepting truths that our younger selves denied. And there indeed are people determined to do nothing positive with their lives. What does GROWING UP  means to me so far?

• Making mistakes and learning from them.
• Making choices and plans for yourself
• Remember things from the past
• Finding out what you really want
• Accepting what you cannot change
• Lastly, understanding someone else's feelings

I know it doesn't end here, Like everyone else's I have so many things to learn

When we're a teenagers, we're just at the beginning of your life's lessons, and by eighteen, knowing what you like and dislike. Part of growing up is discovering who you are. You have a clear idea of how you like to be treated and how to treat others. You start to see that the reality around you is made up of so much more than just what you see, but also what you don't. You start to realize that the world is bigger than the friends and family you have been surrounded with your entire life, that is bigger than YOU. School doesn't prepare us for the pains of growing up. But life is the toughest teacher we will ever have. "Life is a cruel teacher. She gives the test first ,then the lesson."  Life will throw everything and it will try to break us and choke us until we can't breathe, but we can let it. And he leaves us to decide if we fail or pass on our own. Life is about change, don't fight it and just go with it. Learn from your mistakes and grow. Let go of things you can't change. Sometimes change will be so painful you will want to rip your heart out, but you'll be okay if you just hang on and know that no matter what happens, you will be alright. Win, lose or draw, Life will go on and you'll get another chance to start your life over if things haven't gone according to plan.

                    I didn't say that I am already mature enough to think. I just don't take life too seriously. I'm just sharing my current understanding about growing up. Admit it, its not that easy right? Still, there's a lot of things I didn't know, There's so much things in this earth that every human should need to explore, learn and understand. It's like taking baby steps. 

Final thoughts:

Use this time wisely to get to know yourself as best as you can, not that you won't change as you continue to get older, but its definitely a time of discovery, getting to know oneself and what you want in this world and what you have to contribute to the world.