Single? Don't care!

This might be your theme song for this year and probably every Christmas that you're end up being single! It’s the time of year again when being single can…well, sort of suck. When the happy family outing pictures from your married and taken friends on your Facebook feed seems to be on steroids. You just can't avoid being envy to those who are in a relationship. Admittedly, You miss being in a relationship, who doesn't anyway? and suddenly remember the pain that it cause you. Until you become bitter to all the couples you see. 

My friends constantly swapped stories about where their latest boyfriends took them, or how they talked on the phone for hours, and all I could contribute was how thought-provoking the latest hollywood movie was. I had an abundance of amazing friends, acquaintances and hobbies, but I'm the girl who never had a long term relationship yet. but yes! I was once a broken hearted girl. My heart has been bashed, bruised, and broken. But I don’t feel traumatized, and I know I will love again. Hopefully the next someone will treasure and treat my heart with love and respect. I hope!

 Now when I say single, let’s be clear — I mean single.  The don’t-have-a-fiancee eh kase halos mga friends and classmates ko kinasal na, don’t-have-a-boyfriend, ka-fling fling actually-don’t-even-have-a-cute-crush-right-now-except-for-some-adorable-puppy's. No signing up in dating app and meet the jerk guys out there. however-I-want, no-i’m-not-expecting-anyone, please-don’t-make-me-try-to-catch-the-freaking-bouquet, put-my-hands-UP-for-Beyonce kind of single.  Yeah! put a ring on it. haha!

Anyway lets just talk about one night, when the rain pours down, you turn on the radio and some emo 90's song starts to play and it goes like this:

 " I recall when you said that you would never leave me

You told me more, so much more like when the time you whispered in my ear. There was heaven in my heart.. I remember when you said that you'd be here forever "

You're single yet you feel the pain in your heart and it hits you.. Oh ghaaaaaaaad! I'm single! Whyyyyyy? baket ba tuwing magpapasko nalang ganto?! You started to panic, to hyperventilate. At first you can’t really believe what just happened. It hasn’t sunken in yet and it seems to be manageable. Clock ticks midnight. Emo hour starts. You crash. Crash so hard you wish you could just die. Yea' you're just carried away by your emotions. Because you aren’t strong to keep all these emotions to yourself, you start posting quotes on twitter or rant on facebook. You re-tweet emo tweets. You annoy the shit out of your friends and followers. Admit it, we're all obsessed with the idea of being inlove that sometimes we forget about ourselves.

'Tis the seasons to be jolly they but also to be single as well.. coz you have no choice! you can't do anything about that, friend!  haha!  fa la la la la, la la la la. 🎶

I'm trying to get jolly, I'm trying to get in the Christmas spirit, I've decked the halls and I'm just about a mood swing away from decking Santa.  I don’t want to read any more blog posts or articles or lists of advice about how hard it is to be single at Christmas. I want to discuss it personally to whom I trust and close friends. I appreciate it when people give me advices but sometimes it can be hard when someone who recently just got married, or someone who was single at “some” point in their past, tries to give lots of advice how to live the single life.  I totally respect and validate your experience being single in the past, and know that some of the best advice I’ve received about being single has been from my married friends.  But sometimes it’s just nice to share it with people who are currently single. you know? kapwa mo single - mas feels yun 'diba?!

Do you ever ask yourself why you're still single? Me, I asked myself several times. I know,  it's not my own choosing, o kahit nino man;  Unless you're living in a convent huh? I must never feel downhearted or depressed and just look positive. I am single. I have been for a years now. I have been in relationships before, guys who dumped me and take me for granted - I think it should be called relation'shit! And still really don't know why they all leave me. And chose bitches over me.  You know? 'di ko rin talaga maiwasang hindi isipin yung negative. Whenever someone asks me, syempre positive side ang isasagot ko, like: A pithy, “Because I’m too fabulous to settle.” A polite, “Because I’m waiting for God to bring me the right man.” A practical, “Because there are still things I’m meant to accomplish as a single woman!” But at the back of my mind, the truth is…sometimes I think the reason I’m still single is because I’m inherently flawed. Bad. Ugly. Undeserving. Screwed up. Unlovable.  Everytime na iisipin ko yung positive, umeepal talaga si negative. jusko!

No! No! No! Maling mali. Hindi naman mahalaga ang looks basta mahal mo at dun ka masaya sadyang may mga hayf na tao lang na dinadahilan ang looks ng isang tao o madaling naiinlab sa itsura. Ambabaw nun friend! Gay/Lesbian/Single/single mom or dad/separated/Liberated people or kahit saan kapa kabilang. Anong klaseng human being kapa. Maganda man o hindi. Maputi man o maitim we all deserves to love and to be love. We all have our own lovestory written by God. 

Ganun pa man, kahit single pa tayo sa kung ano mang kadahilanan; hindi dapat magpadala sa pressure na  kahit kanino nalang makipag relasyon para lang ma-in sa ka sa mga friends mong taken. We all wanted to be in a relationship; that is true, that is pure and that is full of love and have always hoped and wanted to eventually be married. But that doesn't means that you need to be settled in a force relationships. Minsan ang ilan sa atin ay 'di maiwasang mag isip ng ganto;  I will do life alone. And that makes me sad sometimes. And it’s challenging sometimes. And it’s scary sometimes. And it’s lonely sometimes. You know what else is scary? Being with the wrong person. Settling for the wrong person out of fear, before the right person had a chance to come along. You'll lost the chance to meet the right person for you. And to be genuinely happy. So what kung Single ka?  ATLEAST WE'RE HAPPY AND NOT WITH THE WRONG PERSON.

Those questions that bounced in my head has started to disappeared until I found this quote: “Single is not a status. It is a word that describes a person who is strong enough to live and enjoy life without depending on others.” - yes! this qoutes gave me more life! And motivation haha!

Christmas is approaching in a weeks! Its about LOVE and of course this is the season were Jesus Christ was born.  Christmas is about giving, about sharing and about being with the ones you love, which is a load of sentimental old tosh. It's also about getting drunk, receiving things or whatever they wanted to give .. doing whatever you want. I don't know why I always end up being single at Christmas? I think it may be because I ask for the most ridiculous things as gifts and it's hard for any person, however much they may be in love, to come up with world peace, and end to world hunger., LOVE is all we need.

 So now, I think i know whats the right answer to the question why I'm still single - I am single because I refuse to be with someone unless my entire heart is in it. I tell people all the time how I don’t like anything to be lukewarm. Whether it’s my work, a significant other, or any other kind of life goal, I want the passion and flame. Otherwise, what’s the point? I’m not being difficult or having “too high of standards” for wanting those things, either. I want them because I’ve felt them and know they’re real. I don’t expect perfection; I expect authenticity. I simply refuse to settle for less.

“Being single is not the end of the world,” in researched say and continued by saying, “There are other problems that are more depressing than being single—hunger and homelessness, for instance.” This felt like a slap in the face to wake up. It reminded me that even with a broken heart or single I am still standing. I’m still breathing. There are still so many possibilities for me. It also taught me to be happy and learned some important truths especially learning to love myself. In taking time for myself and getting to know myself on a higher level, I’ve also become more comfortable with who I am.  I don’t need anybody. I don’t need validation; I don’t need someone to come make me feel better if I’m upset. I’ve learned to take care of myself and rely on myself before anyone else. It really is an amazing feeling. I know that if the worst should happen, I’ll be okay. I don’t depend on anybody. That’s not to say I don’t enjoy other people’s company, because I definitely do. I love my friends and they are always there for me. But it’s different to have your friends there for you versus someone you’re romantically involved with. When the right person comes along, it’ll be wonderful to have that partner to experience things with and lean on-but equally as wonderful to know that I won’t collapse without it.  haha!

Anyway fellas! forget about the negativity of a single life! and let just enjoy our own company.. look in a brighter side. Being single is okay! This is the time to reconnect with ourselves, a time where we can talk to ourselves, debating all the questions and answers that are bouncing in our  head. This is the time of reflection. This is the time of acceptance and to be happy,.. 'Tis the time to be jolly!

Ps:

Live your life to the fullest eka nga! Wag malungkot, dadarating din yun sa tamang time! wag lang kamo sya malelate! haha. Don't find love; let Love find you! ❤ Be kind to yourself, don't be harsh! and also be kind to your neighbors!